February 2011
121 posts
1 tag
Brief Overviews of Hideous Men: In Conclusion
“Perhaps we dont like what we see: our hips, our loss of hair, our shoe size, our dimples, our knuckles too big, our eating habits, our disposition. We have disclosed these things in secret, likes and dislikes, behind doors with locks, our lonely rooms, our messy desks, our empty hearts, our sudden bursts of energy, our sudden bouts of depression. Don’t worry. Put away your mirrors and...
1 tag
Brief Overviews of Hideous Men: Chicago, Year 3-4...
German Diver - A fuck buddy for 6 months. Just sent me a text saying that we can no longer have “sexy fun time” anymore as he is seeing someone. This caught me off-guard as I haven’t seen nor spoken to him in 5 months.
Grad Student - Five dates later, when I told him that we should warm each other up one rainy night after his softball game and my five mile run along the lake,...
Dear girl in the coat check line last night,
I apologize for making insulting Jersey Shore references about you when you tried to cut me. Also for telling you that you need a nose job, even though your really do.
Please never come to another Robyn artist showcase night.
Michael
1 tag
Brief Overviews of Hideous Men: Chicago, Year 2.1...
Barista - 11 month relationship I prefer not to talk about
Hairdresser - Best sex of my life. He moved out of the city and is now doing porn.
Advertising Peon - Punched me in the throat last Valentine’s day while blackout. We were supposed to go on our first date two days later.
Bartender - Pops Klonopin like candy. At a large dinner he went to fill my refill my wine glass, but he was on...
1 tag
Brief Overviews of Hideous Men: Chicago, Year...
Creative consultant - He sent me the creepy email below after a few months of hanging out. I have included the original spelling and grammatical errors. Note: When trying to get into a teacher’s pants, spelling and grammar are of the utmost importance.
“One of my favorite books, not sure if you’ve read it or not, is The Vampire Lestat. I’m sure u have some knowledge of...
1 tag
Brief Overviews of Hideous Men: Chicago, Years 1-2
Architect - picked me up by throwing me his business card on the El. He had a boyfriend - they are still dating. We run into each other once every few months. I wonder if he recognizes me?
Psychiatrist - Valentine’s Day I was home from work with the stomach flu. I still managed to make it out to the store and buy him a jade plant. He knew I was sick and was planning to bring me soup when...
1 tag
Brief Overviews of Hideous Men: Undergrad
Pothead guitarist and closeted Spaniard - They were dating each other (unknown to me) and used me to make each other jealous. I assume they would talk about who they think I like more when they would go home together and fuck.
College drop-out male model - We were in opposing fraternities in college, he enjoyed talking about his “art” and running around shirtless picking up other...
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Brief Overviews of Hideous Men: My first boyfriend
Former drug addict ballerina - Cheated on me with male figure skater while i was working in an AIDS hospice in NYC. The male figure skate then moved to California and the ballerina followed. The figure skater cheated on him and they broke up. The figure skater then went on MTV’s “Next” and told everyone that the ballerina actually cheated on him.
In conclusion, an entire...
1 tag
Brief Overviews of Hideous Men*: An Introduction
I have been single for a year and a half now. I am not complaining about it at all. I actually quite enjoy being single.
However, there are those times - especially during the winter - when the nostalgia of someone bringing you French press in bed and whispering you awake assaults, and you have to steel yourself against falling for just anyone in order to satiate this temporary ennui.
It is with...
WatchLocal Natives - “Who Knows, Who Cares”
via La Blogotheque
This video is getting me through the day.
“ummm…so Malik just needed to borrow a computer to do some work, so he had...”
– My coworker to me. It is also interesting to note that I am the reason Malik is under house arrest after I pressed charges when he threatened to shoot me in the head 10 times after school.
“All I want to do is grind to Fleetwood Mac and make out. Is that too much to...”
